The next club meeting on November 22nd is a double header as we welcome both entries for a club competition and contributions to the latest club project!
This session plays host to the annual Mike Turner Plate competition, an award
named after our esteemed (and amorous) Vice Chairman….erm, Dave Whatshisname.
This competiton has been in existence since 1967 and has unusual origins. Mike was screening his latest film at a club night which he believed was his magnum opus – a psychadelic musical version of Chekhov’s The Cherry Orchard – and would sweep the boards at the club awards. It began quite promisingly when, exactly one minute into the film, the projector (operated by one Reg Lancaster, whose own film won all the awards that year – coincidence?) suddenly failed and the film was destroyed. Interestingly the last image on the
screen was a close up of a plate. Mike was too distraught to make a copy of the film and it has never been seen again, so out of pity in consolation the club members decided to create a special contest to reward those who can make an entertaining film inside one minute – and thus the Mike Turner Plate was born!
Previous winners include Annabelle Lancaster, Basil Doody and Mile Coad.
While voting takes place at this meeting the results will not be revealed until the OVFM Oscars next March!
Rules for this competiton can be found HERE and good luck to all who enter a film!
Also on this (presumably) cold wintry evening we look forward to seeing the fruits of your labours for the latest club project “Guess Where This Was Filmed?” Guess what this is about….
As always I’m sure many of you have been busy and have risen to the challenge to produce a film which will cause many headaches for your fellow club members when it comes to recognising the location of your film (just as long as it isn’t round the back of your garden shed (apparently that is “cheating” so Brenda Wheatley tells me. Hmph!).
Anyhoo, here’s to another fun evening with your friends at OVFM!
I’m always on the lookout for ideas for films, and we’ve all seen a number of brilliant short 1 minute joke films, by Basil & Pete, and by Barbara Walker, to name a couple of our filmmakers.
Now I’m thinking, what’s the next step up from a “1 minute joke to a film”? My thoughts are leading me in the direction of short stories. Colin Jones is a whizz at writing short stories from a filmmakers point of view, and you only have to read his latest story for the coaching evenings to see his particular talent. Unfortunately Colin’s back catalogue isn’t freely available to browse, although I’m sure you could ask him for ideas.
This morning, I’ve been traversing the entire internet looking at short stories. Some of them have been really interesting, and inspiring, and others have involved police cars, or spaceships, or large crowds, or simply impossible locations. So it’s not that straightforward to write a story that can be made into a short zero-budget film!
Here’s a list of criteria that I’ve thought about off the top of my head for writing a short story that’s idea for us. Maybe we can approach a writing club or something to write us a story?
Short Story Criteria
less than three main characters
simple every day locations, like a lounge or a residential street, and as few as possible.
no exotic props – Ferraris or Spaceships are generally difficult to source (unless you have one, and are offering it for our use)
no exotic costumes, (Also, unless you have one and are offering it)
short story, less than five minutes in length – 5 minutes would take approximately a day to film.
long conversational dialogue is great, but don’t think that’s all we want! (unless it’s VERY good)
I think that should be enough information for a story writer to work with?
Can you think of any other criteria that would help a story writer?
PS, if this topic has inspired you, don’t forget, the club still has a SIGNIFICANT FUND OF CASH** to offer anyone who would like a budget to make a film.
**come on…. of course there are *some* stipulations!
Here are some links to a few interesting things I’ve found.
Our first club meeting for November sees two of OVFM’s longest running competitions taking place: The Vic Treen Trophy and the Kath Jones Cup.
The Vic Treen Trophy was first contested in 1978, named after a long time OVFM member and filmmaker who has since decided that the sunnier climes of Spain were more preferable to live in than the coldness of Old Blighty.
Previous winners of this prize for films set to music include Colin Jones, Basil Doody, Mike Coad and (surprise surprise) Reg and Annabelle Lancaster.
The Kath Jones Cup was introduced in 1984 in memory of the first wife of club member Colin Jones.
Previous winners of this prize for comedy shorts include Basil Doody, Hugh Darrington and Mike Turner.
Films for both competitions must adhere to the set guidelines which you will find in full HERE and the winners will be announced at the Oscars next year.
Good luck to all who enter their films this year. Here’s to a potentially fun and rocking evening!!
A thick fog descends over a lonely cul-de-sac on the outskirts of London Town. The sound of steel rimmed wheels and hooves on cobbles grows louder as a carriage pulls up sharply outside its destination, a well appointed Gothic dwelling of indeterminate age (but possibly from the seventies). Tonight this damp blanketed building is the location of the monthly gathering of the Committee, as they are known.
A slight figure jumps down from the cab and hurries to the door. The front door bell clangs dully, its pitiful sound adding to that of the howling November wind.
The door is opened by the portly figure of Mrs Hudson, the resident’s down to earth, no-nonsense, long suffering but good hearted house keeper and cook.
She ushers the caller in and he scurries to the study where he bursts unceremoniously through the oak panelled doors.
‘Ah ha! Young Simon. I thought I recognised your distinctive hand at the door.” Reg says to the newcomer.
” Turner, my man,” He continues “are you familiar with my monograph on the ninety-seven unique identifying features of the average door bell? No? I’ll find you a copy. It’s compulsive reading at Scotland Yard I believe. Isn’t that right Lodge?” Without lifting his gaze from his pocket book the taciturn editor in chief nods imperceptibly before returning to his notes.
Simon, is hopping up and down excitedly. He’s one of the OVFM Irregulars, a loyal band of scruffy ragamuffins ever eager to do the Club’s bidding. Though not book schooled Simon is an amiable enough youngster, with an eager disposition and the cheeky wit of a mudlark or barrow boy.
“Ere Mr Lancaster Sir.” He utters coarsely in Cockney parlance.
“Yes my boy?”
“I got a ‘gram for you, urgent it is too.” The skinny lad passes the folded telegram to Reg. “And please sir, can I ‘ave a shilling to pay the cabby? He’s waiting.” Reg takes a couple of coins from the pocket of his smoking jacket and passes them to the lad.
“And here’s a sixpence for yourself.”
“Ta mister.” Says Simon doffing his cap gratefully before swiftly nipping out to the cab.
Elementary My Dear Watson
“Now let me see. What do we have here?” Reg says turning the thin waxy paper in his hand and examining it minutely.
“An Orpington GPO mark. It’s dated earlier this evening. The message is a short one. What can we deduce from that Watson?”
“Erm…I don’t know, that the sender doesn’t have much to say perhaps?” Andy replies hesitantly.
“Tut tut my dear Watson surely it’s elementary! A short message like this is conclusive proof that the sender is of a careful disposition in the realm of finance. With telegram costs at sixpence a word a man who is particular with his spending would do his utmost to keep the message short. If we take a glance at the name of the sender all becomes clear. The telegram is from the Treasury, from the Chancellor of the Exchequer Sir David Laker. A man famous for his fiscal propriety. Now let’s see what he has to say.”
Reg clears his throat, glances around the room and reads the message aloud to the assembled party.
“URGENT…STOP…DRAMA…SHORTAGE…OVFM…STOP…SEND…HELP…STOP” Reg looks up thoughtfully.
“Well, well, well.” Reg muses “What are we to make of that?”
“I have come across this OVFM before.” Turner pipes up “A plucky band of innovators, if my memory serves, in the new fangled field of moving picture entertainment.”
“Their extravaganzas are quite the thing in Kent.” Countess Brenda Wheatley adds languidly, before reclining back in the velvet luxury of the chez longe
“Be a good chap Coulson, make a long arm and let us see what Johnson has to say on the matter.” Reg says to Chris, pointing the serpentine stem of his pipe at the groaning bookshelf. It’s heaving with numerous leather bound reference volumes. Chris pulls down the dictionary and quickly finds the appropriate reference. He reads.
“Drama.” He begins “Noun…to be in deficit of the sufficient quantity of chocolate coated comestibles”
“No, no, no!” Reg tuts impatiently “Surely there is another meaning.” He snatches the large leather bound volume from Chris’s hand angrily. Though the two long standing rivals and one time enemies are now reconciled the slightest incident is prone to peel back the thin veneer of civility and result in friction.
“Ah yes! Here it is.” Reg begins, in better mood. “Drama. Noun, play for acting on screen, etc…”
“Ha!” Interjects the practically minded Lodge “It is nothing but frippery and tom foolery!”
“Nay, Peter my good man, it is the highest form of art available to civilized man.” Turner corrects kindly, his blue eyes twinkle with good natured bonhomie.
“Indeed drama is a powerful tool for revolution, communication and equality.” Announces Freddy Beard, who until now had been silently pawing over her latest treatise on female suffrage and the overhaul of the patriocentric political system, she was hoping to distribute it in pamphlet form but couldn’t decide on quarto or semi-quarto size or indeed on one or two columns. She would consult Peter she determined, he would know.
“Drama is the purest expression of independence and must be defended heartily!” She adds, proclaiming the statement resolutely, as was her way.
A flicker of a smile crosses Reg’s face. Although he didn’t support the ungainly methods of this equality movement he did respect their cause and he had a deepfelt admiration for Freddy’s determination and strength of character, after all it was these very attributes that had first drawn him to Annabelle. The only woman he’d ever encountered who’d been his intellectual equal and had stirred in him a passion he’d not imagined he possessed. They were now a formidable team and he silently rejoiced that he no longer had cause to resort to the oblivion of the cursed opiate.
“But how to be of assistance to these poor lost souls of OVFM?” Annabelle asked, the soft ray from the flickering gas lamp casting a light that danced transiently over her comely face. Her goodness was plain to see, but there was also a steeliness in her eyes, after all this was a woman with wit, grit, intelligence and charity.
“Indeed my dear. I believe this is a three pipe problem. Kindly pass me my slipper Watson.” Reg says, reaching for the exotically coloured silk Persian slipper in which it was his eccentric way to keep his tobacco.
“And ask Mrs Hudson to lay out a cold meat buffet, I anticipate a long and arduous night ahead and we must fortify ourselves.”
“Let us encourage them with a rally. I will chain myself to the railings outside St Pauls.” Freddy states, her chin out and a far away look in her eyes.
“Let us hope it will not come to that. And in any case there is not space for man nor beast outside St. Pauls since the disaffected youths have taken up residence there. I have had to find another route to my Club to avoid their unseemly jostling. Most inconvenient.” Turner counters, shaking his head sadly.
“We will procure a drama for them…by fair means or foul.” Interrupts Chris with a wicked laugh and a wink “I hear that such a place as Spring Park do a passable drama. We will make it ours with a little cunning.”
“I’ll not countenance talk of such illegality in my earshot, or I will be forced to discharge my duty forthwith.” Peter states authoritatively, adding with insight “Is a handsome reward not a suitable incentive?”
“Hear, hear.” Brenda says, clapping her hands delightedly.
“Yes, I concur, we will offer monetary assistance to any budding Spielbergs who are worthy. That should help. But I fear it might not be sufficient
incentive. Have you any suggestions dearest?” Reg asks turning to Annabelle.
A serious look crosses her face and she considers the question for a moment. Reg’s lean aquiline features soften a little as he casts an affectionate eye over her.
“We must campaign tirelessly with OVFM and spread the message amongst them. Young and old, new or experienced they must be made to seize the baton of dramatic expression and run with it, run like the wind. ” As Annabelle finishes, a loud cheer goes up in the room. Freddy embraces her and there is applause all round.
“A capital suggestion my dear. We are indebted to you.” Turner says
“Yes indeed!” Agree the others, united in their support.
And so it was, a decree was passed to encourage, cultivate, facilitate and generally motivate the members of that august organisation OVFM to make more drama films. Only time will tell if they were successful.
Now if you’ll excuse me I’ve got a tanner burning an ‘ole in me pocket, so I’ll bid you fine sirs and madams a good day and be on me way.
The Cast:
Reg Lancaster as Sherlock Holmes
Chris Coulson as Moriarty
Mike Turner as Mycroft
Annabelle Lancaster as That Woman
Andy Watson as…yes you’ve guessed it Dr Watson
Freddy Beard as Emily Hawkhurst
Peter Lodge as Inspector Lestrade
Brenda Wheatley as The Countess
David Laker as The Chancellor
Mrs Hudson as Herself
and Simon as the Cheerful Little Cockney lad
with apologies to Conan Doyle and the members of The Committee
“It’s a Calamity…Jane!” Mike Turner grumbles as I enter the hall.
“What’s the prob Mike? And by the way don’t call me Jane.” I answer calmly, being used to his outbursts.
Mike stakes his claim
“Surely you can see what’s wrong!” He continues.
“Oh no there’s not some kind of biscuit shortage is there?” I reply anxiously, my heart gripped by sudden panic “And by the way don’t call me Shirley.”
Peggy prepares the Projectionists’ Refreshments
“No, no, no, nothing like that. It’s the raffle, look.” He insists, roughly pushing Roger aside and stomping across the room.
I stride after him to the table arranged artfully with raffle prizes and study it intently. Mike jumps up and down beside me barely unable to contain his frustration. At first I cant see what’s unsettling him but then I look again and spot it…the Doris Day cd!! Of course! Now we’ll all familiar with Mike T’s predilection for this singer and actress, an appreciation that borders on obsession and makes this normally level headed man prone to irrational behaviour.
Mike! That’s very Unhygenic.
Mike was in a fix, he HAD to win the cd. Out came the wallet and he slammed a wad of notes down infront of Freddy and Brenda.
Mike Wrestles With his Wallet
“30,000 tickets please and make it snappy.” He demands
“Just wait a dog gone minute buster!” Brenda exclaims examining the notes suspiciously “Monopoly money isn’t legal tender in this town!”
Freddy Casts a Critical Eye
Dejected but desperate Mike fumbles through his pockets and scrapes together some coppers and a five pound note.
“Five strips please and keep the change.” He asks with dignity before strutting off with his head held high to practice his acceptance speech.
Mike Becomes First victim of Mr Thought Bubble Man
Brenda, Freddy and I exchange a glance and shrug meaningfully. What if Mike doesn’t win? We all know the dreadful consequences that would result from that awful scenario!
Pete Becomes the Second Victim
The Inaugral Meeting of the DD Appreciation Society,,,and George FormbyDavid And Chris Preview the evening’s EntertainmentAn Eager Audience Awaits
Much Later.
After an action packed first half of films great and small, followed by an action packed tea interval of biscuits great and small we all file back into the hall to ready ourselves for the action packed second half.
Peggy, Freddy and Jo…Poetry in motion
Mike’s Wives Number One and Two console themselves while John looks on
But first comes THE RAFFLE (cue the dramatic music, or failing that something funny by George Formby).
Please Mike! Control yourself
The Catering Committee Limber Up
As Mike climbs the rostrum to deliver his raffle address a kind of hush falls over the audience. Someone bursts into song, a homage to the Carpenters, but is quickly set upon and silenced by the catering committee armed with stale French sticks.
Brenda sincerely Wishes Mike the best of Luck!
“Unaccustomed as I am…” Mike begins. But realising that the catering committee are calling for reinforcements he skips straight to the draw. One by one he reads the ticket numbers out, and one by one he fails to win, and one by one the raffle prizes are claimed until all that’s left is one lonely little prize…!
The Lucky Winner Keeps His Head Down
Well to cut a long story short, Mike didn’t in fact win the wonderful Doris Day CD. The winning ticket actually belonged to someone else. Mike was very decent about it all, and the winner went home feeling delighted with his prize and in subsequent years was so inspired by Doris Day’s wonderful voice and her wonderful heart warming songs he founded a charitable foundation that brings health and happiness to disenchanted financial service workers all over the world. So all’s well that ends well.
And the second half of the Autumn Show was as good and maybe even better than the first half and everybody went home entertained, uplifted and just a little bit poorer, I mean better people.
So the moral of the story is?
A Doris a Day makes Mike work, rest and play. Film is fun. Don’t stand in front of a blank white screen when Mr Thought Bubble Man is around, and if you see several ladies approaching brandishing French sticks RUN!
A Successful raffle winner keeps out of sight
Disclaimer.
For reasons of propriety and as a result of a thinly veiled threat to introduce a ‘Doris Day Tribute’ category into the annual film competition I feel it prudent to make the following retraction.
Any suggestions of insanity, polygamy, gluttony and unlawful behaviour is entirely unfounded and any similarity between the characters in this article and real people is entirely accidental.
It’s new project time and the subject for this one is “Guess Where This Was Filmed”. I would elaborate but there doesn’t really seem to be much need since the title says it all.
The date for the screening of your efforts is November 22nd – which incidentally is the same night for the entries of the Mike Turner Plate competition (rules for that are HERE). So, grab your cameras, do some filming and see if you can baffle your fellow club members with the location of said opus.
As the toilet of time is preparing to flush away the last fetid remnants of 2011 for good before the Domestos of destiny freshens the bowl ready for the arrival of 2012, we here at OVFM still have a few competitions to hold.
Taking place in the month of November will be three of our annual contests in which club members are encouraged to enter films to meet a specific criteria. The films will be judged by a panel of esteemed experts once the pub closes and the winners will be announced at the Oscars in March 2012.
The contests and the dates on which the films need to be ready for screening by are as follows:
Kath Jones Cup – Held on 8th November 2011
Vic Treen Trophy – Held on 8th November 2011
Mike Turner Plate – Held on 22nd November 2011
The rules for these competitions can be found HERE
Good luck and we all look forward to seeing your entries!
Rules. You’ve got to have them otherwise we’d all be living in a world to total anarchy and here at OVFM we don’t want that. Anyone who has been to our regular meetings knows what a rambunctious lot our members can be, especially when it is time to resume the meeting after the tea break!
But rules do have a purpose, never more so when it comes to our competitions. Listed below are the guidelines for the three categories that make up the part our major annual competition which is voted for by club members. So avail yourselves with these before making your film and you could be a big winner come the Oscars!
Kath Jones Cup
Members are invited to make joke films not exceeding 5 minutes, either individually or with others; a film which illustrates a joke with the main punch- line at the end.
Vic Treen Trophy
This rewards the bringing together of images and music. There are two distinct options open to members for this category:
A Film Cut To Music – This entails editing your images to match the beat and tempo of your selected musical piece. In other words, the images should change in syncopation with beat of the track and not at random points to ensure a smoother flow.
A Film Set To Music –This involves having suitable music that matches the imagery. You do NOT have to be strict with matching the changes to the beat but there must be a reflection of the mood and tempos of the music in your visuals to create some sort of narrative.
N.B. – If you use a piece of original artist music (eg: a pop/rock song) you are solely responsible for the clearance of its usage per the copyright usage laws. The best way around this is to be a member of the IACand have your ownMCPS Copyright Clearance licenceas the club’s licence only covers films produced and presented as a club effort.
Mike Turner Plate
Any type of film, be it comedy, drama, musical, etc. as long as the total length does not exceed 60 seconds.
Annual Competition
The Annual Competition is open to all members and the films, judged by an external panel, are eligible for technical merit awards as well as general entertainment credits.
A £2 entry fee is normally required unless circumstances dictate otherwise. You can enter as many films as you like, to be accompanied by their own separate official entry form, as long as they don’t exceed 30 minutes in length and have not already been entered or won an award in the AC before. You can enter your film if it has also been submitted for the Top Ten or any of the above categories either the same year or in prior years.
The winners of these competitions are revealed at the OVFM OSCARS every March.
This week’s club meeting will see OVFM welcoming ITV cameraman Gary Mullins who will be regaling us with tales and anecdotes from his career as a TV cameraman.
Unfortunately I don’t have any further information on Mr. Mullins or a picture to share with you; in fact when I did a Google search for “Gary Mullins TV Cameraman” the first site to appear on the results list was this one!!
Either way I hope this doesn’t put you off from joining us at the usual venue at the usual time for what should be an entertaining evening.
Tuesday the 18th October marked the opening salvo in the barrage of six evenings devoted to improving camera and film making skills in all those ready, willing and eager to learn, and what an evening it was!
If I press this Shooters Hill disappears
With Ian as Compere, Master of Ceremony, Big Honcho and to labour my artillery metaphor even more, the man who’s job it is eh…to direct the guns eh…to fire in the right direction. Anyway I think you get the point, Ian is like an important cog or perhaps hub in the coaching evening machine, a well oiled machine that runs like clockwork, a clockwork machine that fires shells of useful information…into the OVFM target area. Phew! For a minute there I was worried I might mix my metaphors, but I think I’ve got away with it!
Computer, make it so.
Colin kicked off the night with his informative exposition of video cameras. How they work, why they work, how you can make them work better, what their buttons do, which ones you should press, what for and why, and how when all else fails it’s sometimes okay to step away from the buttons and let the camera do it’s thing…gulp automatically!
Yes These hands are Insured
As if this wasn’t enough Colin shared his knowledge about filters, especially close-up filters which are a cheap and highly effective way to get up close and personal with your subject…please no blushing in the ranks.
We call this the Vulcan Death Grip
John supplemented Colin’s talk with information and tips from his own super techy knowledge to enlighten us all to the mystery of colour balance and how to adjust your camera to get the very best colour in your films. To illustrate the point we were treated to several glimpses of Ann on screen as ‘walk on with grey card under different lighting conditions’, a small and largely unappreciated role that I for one think she really took to new heights. Go Ann go! I’m hoping that a sequel might see Ann develop her role, perhaps a talking part?
And then you Jab him with your knuckles till he stops
Arise Sir Roger
After tea break (more about that later) it was Chris’s turn to whisper some gems of knowledge into our collective lug ‘oles on the sticky subject of sound recording. If Chris has told us once he’s told us a dozen times ‘a cheap microphone close-up always trumps an expensive mic far away’. With the assistance of several volunteers Chris was able to prove this claim and bring it to life in before our very own ears.
How Much is that doggy in the window
With Pat and Bob doing sterling service as Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee or should I say Bruce Forsyth and Anthea Turner (am I showing my age?) by delivering scintillating line after scintillating line of witty repartee while Ian worked the boom mic and Roger filmed the whole thing, Chris was able to demonstrate different mics and the ins and outs of sound levels to great effect.
I think Ive caught a live One
I must say Pat and Bob really brought the words alive, I’ll not forget Bob’s countdown from ten to one in a hurry I can tell you! Give these two their own show!
Sing along a ChrisI See no Chips
I wont mention Chris’s explanation of zebra pattern…I don’t think the world’s quiet ready yet! But I will mention the tireless work of Two Camcorder Andy who bravely took up the challenge of filming the evening for posterity. How are you suppose to get well framed and steady shots if people will insist on moving around!
So This is Lady Ga GaConcentrate Barbara this is Serious
Laughter and tears? Well needless to say all the speakers liberally dusted their fascinating talks with jokes, japes, gags, humorous anecdotes and a bit of slapstick too so there was plenty of laughter. The tears you ask? Well they were mine…ahh. You see the inimitable, incomparable, insouciant, and dare I say? Lovely, Freddy, who was head of catering on this occasion took it upon herself to substitute ginger biscuits for chocolate!!!! I wept, inwardly I grant you, after all I am a man, but I was gutted! But do not fear I forgive you Freddy.
Go On Freddy Give him the Look
Is Anybody Listening
So if you missed out on Coaching Week One but like the sound of it do, do, do get along to the next one. It’s Fun, Educational and only occasionally (I hope) bereft of chocolate biscuits.
