Club Film – Your Help Is Needed!


A Call To Arms by  Mike Shaw

While our erstwhile Chairman Simon “Snapper” Earwicker was gnashing his noshers outside at the last meeting, shooting an epic club film with the help, of course, of a bevy of club members, inside the clubroom the remainder of the members put on their thinking caps to interpret a script idea supplied by Brenda.

It was decided to create a film using ‘intakes’ – that is, scenes from existing club movies which admirably, suitably, splendidly and, dare I say, humorously fit the script.  No, I’m not going to reveal the actual script here … it may be one of our entries for various competitions, and to tip our hand would, as they say, tip our hand,  give the game away, spill the beans.

So if all this seems a little enigmatic, now you know why.  Unless you were there at the discussion of course, in which case, you already knew why.

Enough of the banter. Many of the clips and scenes required have already been identified, and are repeated again here because, peoples, we need those clips! If you have any of those mentioned – please bring the relevant movie (or just the clips if you can) along to the next club meeting.  If you have clips which meet the requirements – bring those too – having a choice is a good thing!  Finally, there are scenes which will need to be shot – and we’re going to need props for those – and people to get involved of course.

First, we need a good narrator for the VO: it has been recorded to give us a time scale, but we will need a really good reading – male or female – for the final movie.

Some of the scenes we have identified as requiring intakes are


  • Someone painting (Mikes ‘Artist’ suggested) – but could also be a new shot of someone painting over a wall – and over the pictures on it.
  • Baking a cake – very messily. (Suggested – Colin’s film of granddaughter baking with Corrie).
  • Digging a deep/large hole (for planting a small single seed) (Suggested Basil’s film of boy burying a cat in a shoe box)
  • A clock speeding round and a calendar’s pages tearing off
  • People trying to cross rivers and falling in (various clips suggested here – for example Chris’s tyre over the river – you’ll know if you have something to offer!)
  • People climbing mountains (Reg’s Cheese Roll film suggested – but also a suggestion to film someone with a ladder against a green screen with clips of Mountains from David or Andy or Brian)
  • A dreadful band playing (Suggestions include the Christmas High Street Band shot by John and David)
  • Chris and Anna’s cat reading the newspaper (remember that film?!)
  • Three legged race or similar, a street party perhaps or children fighting at a wedding
  • A dog dragging someone along on a lead (Tony to film it?)
  • Someone sunbathing with a knotted handkerchief on their head, or humorous sunbathing situation
  • Someone battling against a high wind
  • Heavy snow storm and heavy monsoon rain (Sam and Jim have suitable clips. Also ‘Aloha Two’ – by Annabelle has a suitable scene).
  • Shot of naked men (!! – Reg’s film of naked men in the ‘Mud Race’ has been identified as a good candidate)


All of the clips used in the movie will be trimmed short – probably to 3-4 seconds maximum length.  The remaining shots will have to be original – props we’ll need are a large globe, a long feather duster, and an elegant vase (one that probably looks valuable but isn’t … we may break it!  Brenda’s 3D jigsaw vase has been suggested).

Don’t worry about the quality or colouring of your shots: all clips will be colour graded and ‘doctored’ to have a common universal appearance, so they will all blend together.

Over to you OVFM – the ball is now in your court! 🙂

One Reply to “Club Film – Your Help Is Needed!”

  1. Only a small list of items required, then!

    I have a globe of 12″ diameter, if that is what you call ‘large’. Could be filmed to look larger?

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