One evening, two teams, a brace of video cameras, a heap of props, and a bunch of ideas.
Your challenge, should you accept it, is to…make a short film!
With a maximum of two hours available and the clock already ticking the pressure was on and there was no time for the normal club niceties…except who wants tea and who wants coffee? And oh yes should we open another packet of custard creams or will the rich teas, jammy dodgers and chocolate digestives suffice? A point of order was raised on the unsuitabilty of custard creams as a dunking biscuit. A heated debate ensued but after twenty minutes it was agreed by a small majority that the packet would be opened but the dunkers in the party were welcome to select an alternative biscuit for their own needs. Phew! With that delicate matter resolved it was down to business.
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With little over ninety minutes remaining the pressure was REALLY on now (it’s exciting isn’t it!) and doubts were raised on the wisdom of the challenge by a rogue group of dissenters. ‘Not enough time’ they chorused (in four part harmony and with surprizing tunefulness. Mmm, me thinks, perhaps at long last the time has come to form the OVFM Choral Ensemble and realize my ambition of having the only world class singing amateur film making club in the South East. Oh how I’ve dreamed of that moment!
First to the brainstorming and after an intense session involving flip charts and Powerpoint it was decided that the first team would be called A and the second B. Some voices were heard to mumble that this archaic nomeclature smacked of inequality, and suggested both teams be known as A, but they were silenced on threat of being thrown to the choir, that soon shut them up! And so it was Team A and Team B were formed and dispersed to their respective studios.
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With sixty solid minutes of hard graft under their belts everyone was gagging for a brew so we took a refreshment break, during which the conversation naturally turned to how nice it was to belong to a club that really does things.
Thirty minutes later we all got down to business, again, and a good seven minutes of full on film making took place, including six minutes discussion on exactly who should direct and whether Alfred Hitchcock appeared in ALL his movies or only some. Before the question could be resolved or a re-take staged, proceedings had to be reluctantly brought to a conclusion as time was sadly up and the mountain of unused props and equipment had to be packed away.
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As the weary gaggle of club members wended their way home there was a palpable air of satisfaction for a job well done and a highly productive evening.
‘I do believe’ I heard one say ‘We must have at least 17 seconds of footage in the can. That must surely be a record.’
And what of these “films”? Well as Chairman I make a solemn vow that they will be banished to the OVFM vault where they will forever remain locked away from view…or maybe they’ll get shown at the next meeting, whatever!
Simon (make mine a chocolate digestive) Earwicker