While Old Man Winter has been quietly cloaking itself in Spring’s mantle (fingers crossed) the Intelligentsia Juggernaut that is the OVFM Coaching Experience has been steadily rumbling onward towards it’s goal…like some giant, steady, rumbling thing.
Monday 23rd January 2012 saw a crack team of keen film makers, actors, technical gurus, avid students of cinema and assorted hangers on, gather in the Garden Room for what was to go down in Club history as quite literally ‘the rehearsal’.
Under Lee Relph’s directorship a film was to be brought to life before our very eyes…and we were excited, very excited! In fact some of us had not been this excited since we’d witnessed Freddy leap to her feet like a startled gazelle, announce to the assembled group that she was ‘Feeling hot, hot, hot’, sprint down the garden and dive head first into the pool with a cry of ‘SERIAC forever!’. I can tell you that’s one committee meeting I wont forget in a hurry. What a woman!
Anyway getting back to the plot we find our hero Lee taking Colin Jones’ script idea and crafting it into a screenplay fit for Bollywood, with dancing, singing, colourful costumes, casts of thousands, a sword fight, two exploding wedding cakes, a donkey, a romance, a romantic donkey…in fact it had everything…except the budget!
So our poor hero (ahh) returns to his draughty garret, takes up his quill, and by the feeble light of a guttering candle he sets to work again. For seven days and seven nights not a sound is heard from his attic room but the scratching of nib on coarse paper. It’s about this time that Lee decides he really should have invested in some ink, and casting aside his quill he reaches instead for his trusty laptop and with two bounds he revises the script and makes his deadline with just seconds to spare.
Wrapping a morsel of cheese and a crust of dry bread in a checkered handkerchief he sets off for the bright lights of London Town (with his cat), to make his fortune. And when he hears the sound of Bow Bells he knows (and so does the cat, it’s a very intelligent cat. The sort of cat that can catch it’s own supper, look after it’s self and do a little light conveyancing on the side) that Everything Was Going To Turn Out Fine.
And so it transpired. Lee made his film and it was Good. And the people said ‘Behold! This IS a Good film.’ And our hero lived happily ever after and went on to make many more movies, all critically acclaimed masterpieces. However they were sadly also commercial flops, but that didn’t matter because when the property market finally picked up the cat was ready and made an absolute killing and there was plenty of money to live on and to finance Lee’s cinematic extravaganzas for years to come!
But I get ahead of myself, that is all for another day.
For now it is still just the rehearsal (but with a bit of filming too, well actually quiet a bit of filming, in fact there’s a heck of a lot of filming going on to be honest, mainly ‘cos of this and that reason, you know how it is.)
Anyway the “rehearsal”!
People flocked from every quarter of the compass to join the team. They flocked like…erm…birds, like exotic birds, like bejewelled birds of paradise, their wings scattering prisms of rainbow coloured light as they flew. And when passers-by looked up and saw them they gasped at their beauty, and the wise ones among them nodded sagely and said
“that there them be from OVFM, ’tisn’t for the likes of us, look away.”
But a particularly kindly old bird (but still with nicely preserved plumage and his own beak) hearing this swooped down and invited the passers-by to come along (without obligation for two meetings, and then after that special rates for couples, students and juniors, terms and conditions apply, bejewelled wings not a guarantee), and they did, and the people rejoiced.
So as I was saying people came, people helped, people loitered, lights were put up, put down, chairs were arranged, added to, moved, sat upon. People acted, people filmed, sometimes people even filmed the actors. Tea was drunk, chips were scoffed, and finally after much hard work, energetic endeavour, and the occasional pregnant pause (Fiona we salute your forbearance) it was time to wrap the cans or whatever it is that they say in MovieLand.
Until, that is, TOMORROW!
Click HERE for Part Two..