Remember last year when Reg “Bomber” Lancaster presented us with a selection of films from BIAFF which we then judged and compared our scores with those of the official judges? You don’t? Ah, I can’t really blame you for wiping it from your memories.
Well, for this week’s club meeting young Reginald and his long suffering assistant Lady Annabelle have decided to subject us to a second round of already judged films to be judged again. This time the selection comes from the UK submissions for the annual UNICA (Union internationale du cinéma) film competition. As the name suggests (although someone should explain to the French how acronyms work), the UNICA festival is a film competition held in a different country each year with an international line-up of entries. The 2012 competition – the 74th – will be held in Ruse which, unless it has been misplaced or has left home, is in Bulgaria and will run from August 25th to September 1st. If you are interested then more info can be found HERE.
The films Reg will subject to OVFM scrutiny have been awarded Diploma, Bronze, Silver or Gold prizes and our mission, should we choose to accept it, is to decide which film won which award. Sounds easy right? Well, as I understand it, Reg has promised to set fire to anyone who gets them wrong so I guess we’ll have to take this seriously after all.
Now, I usually post a link to a website for further information but if I do that someone of you *might* be tempted to take a sneak peek at the results of the previous years ahead of this week’s meeting. I’m not saying any of you *would* but some of you *might*.
So, that’s what is in store for us on Tuesday. See you there?
Day Two and the housemates are in a filming state of mind.
It’s Tuesday 24th January 2012 and as a shaft of golden sunlight picks out the gold braid stripes on Captain Lee’s uniform his eager crew gather for their early morning briefing.
Alas My Heart doth Flutter like a Butterfly’s wings
“Well team, we have a Big Day ahead of us. As you know today we do the actual filming for the OVFM Coaching Course Movie (unlike yesterday when we only rehearsed, no really, it was just the rehearsal, any filming you may have thought you’d seen was just your imagination, understood!)”
Lights, Camera, Sound, Action…I say…ACTION!
Lee struck an inspiring image and his rousing voice soon whipped the crowd into paroxysms of enthusiasm for the task ahead.
Roarke and Mike pull a Cracker
“OVFMers! Lend me your ears, lend me your hearts…lend me a tenner! Today we band, we merry band stand on the frontier of history. Ask not what the Club can do for but what you can do for the Club. Let us rise as one and take up our mighty camcorders and go forth to smite those that dare stand in our way. Cry out for Film, for Video, and for Freddy! And remember people there’s no i in team…but there is a heck of a lot of t in China. Ich Bien Ein OVFMer. ”
Barbara gives the men a lesson in thermo dynamics
Suitably motivated team work did indeed prevail throughout the day. When John Epton (who’s not blessed with the most technically minded brain) struggled to set up a piece of equipment to Lee’s exacting standard Barbara Walker was there immediately to show him how by adjusting the electro reostat to eleven and routing the power through the auxillary thermal shunt gate an effective adjustment in output of five millimicro amps could be achieved. Later it turned out an inverted coffee cup worked just as well!
The Ferret Breeders Question Time Panel
Being a period production historic costumes were de rigueur, with enough flat caps on display to make the casual observer imagine they must have inadvertently stumbled into a meeting of the Union of Flat Cap Wearers, Pigeon Fanciers, Tripe Eaters and Amalgamated Trades. Oh and there were plenty of head scarves too.
If only I could remember why I’m here
With laughter lubricating the wheels of productivity like big dollops of grease mixed with butter and then liberally drizzled with really slippery extra, extra, extra virgin olive oil and then served up on giant banana skins, it was not long before the comprehensive shot list was accomplished with aplomb, panache, je ne sais quoi and ahead of shedule to boot…F.A.B. Lee!
Mike and Ian demonstrate their expert grasp of non-verbal communication
So now all that remains is to await the Grand Premier of this Grande Dame of Grand Prix winning potential Cinematico, I for one can’t wait!!
While Old Man Winter has been quietly cloaking itself in Spring’s mantle (fingers crossed) the Intelligentsia Juggernaut that is the OVFM Coaching Experience has been steadily rumbling onward towards it’s goal…like some giant, steady, rumbling thing.
Chris Points Like There's No Tomorrow
Monday 23rd January 2012 saw a crack team of keen film makers, actors, technical gurus, avid students of cinema and assorted hangers on, gather in the Garden Room for what was to go down in Club history as quite literally ‘the rehearsal’.
"Make it So Barbara"
Under Lee Relph’s directorship a film was to be brought to life before our very eyes…and we were excited, very excited! In fact some of us had not been this excited since we’d witnessed Freddy leap to her feet like a startled gazelle, announce to the assembled group that she was ‘Feeling hot, hot, hot’, sprint down the garden and dive head first into the pool with a cry of ‘SERIAC forever!’. I can tell you that’s one committee meeting I wont forget in a hurry. What a woman!
"My, my, that is a flat cap and no mistake!"
Anyway getting back to the plot we find our hero Lee taking Colin Jones’ script idea and crafting it into a screenplay fit for Bollywood, with dancing, singing, colourful costumes, casts of thousands, a sword fight, two exploding wedding cakes, a donkey, a romance, a romantic donkey…in fact it had everything…except the budget!
There's got to be an easier way to get a suntan!
I think therefore I film
So our poor hero (ahh) returns to his draughty garret, takes up his quill, and by the feeble light of a guttering candle he sets to work again. For seven days and seven nights not a sound is heard from his attic room but the scratching of nib on coarse paper. It’s about this time that Lee decides he really should have invested in some ink, and casting aside his quill he reaches instead for his trusty laptop and with two bounds he revises the script and makes his deadline with just seconds to spare.
No! We are NOT making a blue film!
Wrapping a morsel of cheese and a crust of dry bread in a checkered handkerchief he sets off for the bright lights of London Town (with his cat), to make his fortune. And when he hears the sound of Bow Bells he knows (and so does the cat, it’s a very intelligent cat. The sort of cat that can catch it’s own supper, look after it’s self and do a little light conveyancing on the side) that Everything Was Going To Turn Out Fine.
There's the doers... and then there's the don'ters
And so it transpired. Lee made his film and it was Good. And the people said ‘Behold! This IS a Good film.’ And our hero lived happily ever after and went on to make many more movies, all critically acclaimed masterpieces. However they were sadly also commercial flops, but that didn’t matter because when the property market finally picked up the cat was ready and made an absolute killing and there was plenty of money to live on and to finance Lee’s cinematic extravaganzas for years to come!
Star Quality always shows through
But I get ahead of myself, that is all for another day.
For now it is still just the rehearsal (but with a bit of filming too, well actually quiet a bit of filming, in fact there’s a heck of a lot of filming going on to be honest, mainly ‘cos of this and that reason, you know how it is.)
Determined to make a clean sweep Basil brings his new broom.Steady As A Rock
Anyway the “rehearsal”!
People flocked from every quarter of the compass to join the team. They flocked like…erm…birds, like exotic birds, like bejewelled birds of paradise, their wings scattering prisms of rainbow coloured light as they flew. And when passers-by looked up and saw them they gasped at their beauty, and the wise ones among them nodded sagely and said
“that there them be from OVFM, ’tisn’t for the likes of us, look away.”
But a particularly kindly old bird (but still with nicely preserved plumage and his own beak) hearing this swooped down and invited the passers-by to come along (without obligation for two meetings, and then after that special rates for couples, students and juniors, terms and conditions apply, bejewelled wings not a guarantee), and they did, and the people rejoiced.
Are We Having Fun Yet?
So as I was saying people came, people helped, people loitered, lights were put up, put down, chairs were arranged, added to, moved, sat upon. People acted, people filmed, sometimes people even filmed the actors. Tea was drunk, chips were scoffed, and finally after much hard work, energetic endeavour, and the occasional pregnant pause (Fiona we salute your forbearance) it was time to wrap the cans or whatever it is that they say in MovieLand.
As the icy grip of the winter chill maintains its firm hold on us mere mortals we here at OVFM have the perfect antidote – a look back at the recent holidays our members enjoyed in sunnier climes.
Holiday films have a tendency to be dull, listless and often unable to fully represent the atmosphere and magic of the location – in the wrong hands of course. We here at OVFM however know all the tricks and thus can transport you into the middle of the tropical sun, the snowy mountains or the vibrant green countryside, allowing you to feel the heat of the Mediterranean sun, smell the aromas of an Asian food stall and submit to the passion and energy of a Latin carnival – a small example of just some of the various adventures our members have captured on film during their visits in the name of relaxation and sightseeing.
Or it might just be shots of old people in ill-fitting shorts and tops wandering around aimlessly in some crowded foreign street being laughed at by the locals because our country’s economy is in a worse state than Keith Richards’s liver!
As you may recall during the recent features on Anna Littler’s film “Blitz & Bananas”, we brought you news that the premiere was being organised for early 2012. Well, we can now confirm that the premiere will take place on Sunday April 1st at the Churchill Theatre in Bromley. And no, this is not an April Fool’s joke!
Don’t just take our word for it – check out this advertisement in the current Bromley Arts Council Events Schedule for 2012:
The film starts at 2.30pm, however we are also organising a Wartime Experience! (Details below.) So guests can come from 1.30 pm to join in the 1940s fun! Come in vintage clothing or your party dress!
TICKETS – Buy and Sell!
Tickets are available from the Churchill theatre but please note they charge a booking fee per ticket, plus transaction fee IF you book on their website or by phone, but there are no fees if you go to the booking office.
However, we can also sell as many tickets as we want – without booking fees! Our plan is to give small batches of tickets to individuals to sell to their family and friends etc.
So if you would be willing to take 10 or 20 etc. to try to sell (or any number large or small!), that would be really useful and it will save your friends paying the extra fees! As the seats are numbered, it’s to your advantage to buy early to get good seats!
Let me know your thoughts or requirements by email and we’ll make arrangements. You don’t need to pay for them upfront – we will keep a record and payment can be made later. We’ll provide an info sheet to ticket sellers so that they have all the info needed.
Also I know that some of you have spent many days helping and/or have large families involved, so please do not feel embarrassed to email me if you would prefer a free ticket.
TICKET DEALS
Tickets are: Adults £10. Child (U16) £5.
Family tickets: 2 adults & 2 children (£26)
Group deal – buy 10 tickets and the 11th is free.
We plan to have vintage cars, sets, costumes and props with us and hopefully some surprises – to make the afternoon an educational wartime experience for the young – or a trip down memory lane for the young at heart!
*STOP PRESS*– Due to overwhelming demand for tickets, there will be a second screening for the film to start at 5:30pm! More news to follow soon!
Anna can be contacted via e-mail at annahopelittler@yahoo.co.uk or anna@blitzandbananas.com or by telephone on 01689 862 825. And of course OVFM club members can always grab Anna at our weekly club meetings. Further details on the project can be found on the official website HERE.
This promises to be a big event for Anna, OVFM and everyone who took part in this project so show your support,tell your friends and family and get your tickets quick before they are sold out!
